■■^^^^ 


FREEDOM 

FROM 

FOND 
FRIENDS 


FREEDOM 

FROM 

FOND  FRIENDS 


WRITTEN  BY  THE  FOUNTAIN  PEN  OF 
FREEDOM  HILL  HENRY 


PRINTED  AND  DRESSED  AND  PSYCHOLOGISED 
BY  THE  FREEDOM  HILL  FOLKS 


|i 


PRICE  TWENTY  FIVE  CENTS 

WHICH  IS  TOO  MUCH  IF  YOU  DONT  READ  IT 

AND  NOT  ENOUGH  IF  YOU  DO 

IIP  FREEDOM  HILL  PRESERY 

WHICH  PRINTS  BRAIN  TICKLERS 
RFD  A    BURBANK    CALIFORNIA 


Copyrighted  1919  by  Leroy  Henry 


To  You,  Comrade  QA^A^J'^-^J^-^^^  fh^U^- 


From  the  man  who  knows  no  better 


7 


DEDICATION 

To  all  suffering  humans  who  are  afflicted 
with  fond  friends,  this  booklet  is  sympa- 
thetically dedicated  by  the  author,  who  is 
vainly  trying  to  free  himself  and  his    vie- 


FREEDOM 

FROM 

FOND   FRIENDS 


I  have  read  a  story  to  the  effect  that 
Jesus  once  in  his  travels  was  received  into 
the  home  of  two  sisters.  One  of  these  sis- 
ters seems  to  have  made  some  degree  of 
spiritual  progress  and  had  graduated  from 
the  slavery  of  pots  and  pans  and  brooms 
Jind  washtubs;  but  Martha  was  still  in  the 
lower  grade  and,  not  understanding  Mary, 
ciomplained  to  Jesus  that  she  was  neg- 
lected her  part  of  the  housework,  and 
even  reproachfully  asked  Jesus  to  bid  her 
go  to  work.  Martha  knew,  or  thought  she 
knew,  what  Mary  ought  to  do,  and  she 
seemed  to  think  it  was  her  business  to  see 
that  she  did  it.  And  since  her  own  advice 
or  command  would  not  be  heeded  by  the 
lazy  Mary,  she  thought  she  would  go  still 
further  in  behalf  of  her  poor  sister *s  wel- 
fare and  bring  in  the  command  of  Jesus 
to  reinforce  her  own.    So  she  said  to  Jesus: 

** Don't  you  care  that  my  sister  leave  aU 
the  work  for  me  to  do?  I  have  had  to 
scald  and  pick  the  chicken,  dig  and  wash 
sweet  potatoes,  go  to  the  garden  and  gather 


tomatoes  and  slice  them;  and  I  had  to  dig 
the  Burbank  potatoes  to  bake;  and  this 
morning  Mary  didn't  waken  Lazarus  in 
time  to  get  in  wood  before  he  had  to  go  to 
Zaccheus'  to  work,  and  I  have  just  now 
come  in  from  the  field  with  a  load;  and  I 
have  yet  to  make  French  dressing  for  the 
salad;  and,  dear  me!  I  have  to  get  parsley 
for  the  soup,  besides  some  spinach  for 
greens;  and  the  fire  doesn't  bum  well  to- 
day, and  there  is  no  telling  when  the  spuds 
will  get  done.  I  do  believe,  Jesus,  if  it 
were  not  for  me,  you  and  Mary  would 
starve  to  death.  Heaven  knows  I  am  doing 
all  I  can  to  make  you  comfortable,  while 
Mary,  since  grinding  the  com  and  gather- 
ing some  figs,  has  done  nothing  but  sit  there 
at  your  feet  and  listen  to  talk  that  nobody 
can  understand.  I  don't  know  what  will 
ever  become  of  that  girl.  You  bid  her 
therefore,  that  she  help  me." 

But  the  Lord  answered  and  said  unto  her, 
**  Martha,  Martha,  thou  art  anxious  and 
troubled  about  many  things." 

Mary  has  gone  to  Heaven.  But  Martha 
is  still  living.  I  see  her  nearly  every  day. 
And  I  sometimes  see  her  when  I  look  into 
the  looking-glass.  The  reprimand,  **0  ye 
of  little  faith, ' '  strikes  many  of  us. 

If  you  will  pardon  me,  a  sinner,  for 
quoting  so  much  scripture  at  you,  I  will 
feel  relieved  and  will  proceed  with  my 
story. 


If  we  could  get  over  tliis  grinding,  con- 
Burning  anxiety  about  our  friends,  that  is 
sapping  our  lives  away — that  makes  this 
world  at  times  a  wilderness  of  woe,  wc 
would  then — well,  the  cliange  would  he  so 
great  that  I  will  not  attempt  to  describe  it. 

The  most  of  us  think  we  get  along  pretty 
well  with  ourselves.  We  keep  ourselves 
about  straight.  But  we  have  much  trou- 
ble and  effort  and  worry  about  keeping 
others  straight.  We  send  money  and  re- 
ligion to  the  poor  naked  heathen.  We  are 
so  interested  in  the  ailairs  of  our  neigh- 
bors. We  are  much  concerned  that  our 
relatives  should  be  a  credit  to  us  and  shine 
and  show  off.  And  our  dear  friends  must, 
if  we  can  possibly  bring  it  about,  advance 
in  every  way  according  to  our  ideas  of  ad- 
vancement. We  are  so  conceited  that  we 
presume  to  know,  not  only  what  we  need, 
but  also  what  others  need.  George  D. 
Herron  said,  **No  man  is  wise  enough  to 
govern  any  other  man.*'  But  we  presume 
to  know  and  we  give  advice  and  urge  its 
acceptance;  and  the  more  we  love  our 
friends  the  more  we  annoy  them  with  our 
advice.  And  the  more  we  advise  them 
and  urge  them  to  take  our  advice,  the 
poorer  chance  they  have  of  doing  what  they 
ought  to  do. 

For  people  who  have  learned  that  it  al- 
ways pays  to  do  right,  I  think  the  greatest 
help  or  condition  for  their  growth  is  free- 
dom. 


If  we  voluntarily  clioose  a  course  of 
conduct  and  follow  it,  we  will  gain  culture 
whether  the  immediate  result  be  pleasant 
or  unpleasant.  But  if  we  blindly  follow  ad- 
vice, we  gain  but  little  if  any  culture,  how- 
ever pleasant  the  immediate  result  may  be. 

Because  we  meet  with  suffering,  does  not 
mean  we  have  made  a  mistake.  We  have  to 
have  experience  in  order  to  learn.  We 
can  not  always  avoid  bumping  our  shins 
and  stumping  our  toes  in  the  race  of  life. 
And  a  fond  friend  who  v/ould  prevent  it 
would  keep  us  in  the  cradle  till  we  died. 

If  we  could  rest  assured  that  our  friends, 
all  of  them,  including  the  meanest  ones, 
were  in  the  stream  of  evolution,  moving  on- 
ward toward  the  goal  and  sure  to  get  there, 
we  would  have  less  trouble  and  worry  con- 
cerning them.  I  have  seen  mothers  suffer 
for  fear  their  children  would  starve  be- 
cause they  would  not  eat  the  amount  and 
kind  of  food  prepared  for  them  and  just 
when  it  was  prepared.  Every  animal  has 
enough  sense  to  eat  when  in  need.  Hasn't 
a  child  as  much  sense  as  other  animals?  Is 
not  Nature  the  mother  of  all  and  caring 
for  all?  May  we  not  by  our  well  in- 
tentioned  advice  hinder  instead  of  help? 
Perhaps  each  one  should  think  and  act 
for  himself,  and  it  may  not  be  our  duty  to 
think  for  and  direct  another.  If  we  want 
to  show  people  how  wise  we  are,  we  should 
be  silent.  Whenever  we  open  our  advising 
mouth,  we  show  our  ignorant  tongue. 


Let  me  here  make  a  distinction  between 
advice  and  suggestion.  It  may  be  well  to 
suggest  to  another  a  course  of  action.  If 
the  suggestion  appeals  to  him  he  will  ac- 
cept it.  If  it  does  not  appeal  to  him  he 
should  not  accept  it.  After  he  hears  our 
suggestion  we  should  let  him  decide  for 
himself  without  trying  to  persuade  him. 
We  leave  him  free  to  use  his  own  judgment, 
which  is  quite  different  from  his  following 
our  suggestion  without  knowing  or  feeling 
a  reason  for  it. 

Or  we  may  give  a  friend  information  on 
a  subject  concerning  which  he  has  to  make 
a  decision.  By  getting  more  information 
he  will  be  able  to  make  a  better  decision. 

It  will  be  good  for  our  peace  and  happi- 
ness if  we  learn  to  attend  to  our  own  busi- 
ness and  let  others  attend  to  theirs.  If 
we  would  relieve  ourselves  of  the  burden 
of  keeping  our  friends  in  the  straight  and 
narrow  way,  according  to  our  ideas,  we 
could  walk  this  earth  with  lighter  tread. 

We  are  not  fit  to  give  advice  to  an- 
other unless  we  could  put  ourselves  in  his 
place.  Since  we  can  not  possess  the  na- 
ture of  another,  his  knowledge  and  his  ig- 
norance, we  can  not  put  ourselves  in  his 
place,  and  so  we  had  better  let  him  make 
his  own  decisions. 

Once  upon  a  time  a  farmer  lost  his  mule 
and  could  not  find  it.  His  neighbor  told 
him  the  way  to  find  a  lost  mule  was  to  go 
where  the  mule  was  last  seen.  Imagine  him- 


self  a  miQe,  and  go  where  he  felt  like  go- 
ing, and  he  would  go  right  to  the  mule. 
The  plan  was  theoretically  correct  if  not 
practical.  A  man  might  put  himself  in  the 
physical  place  a  mule  was  last  seen.  But 
it  would  be  very  difficult  for  you  or  me  to 
put  ourselves  in  the  place  of  a  mule  men- 
tally, morally,  spiritually.  It  might  not  be 
so  difficult  for  some  people. 

Since  we  do  not  know  what  seeds  anotner 
has  sown,  we  do  not  know  what  harvest  he 
should  reap,  what  experiences  he  needs. 
Let  your  friend  marry  that  drunkard  if 
she  wants  to.  She  needs  all  the  experi- 
ences she  will  come  up  against.  Is  your 
friend  sowing  his  wild  oats?  Let  him  sow. 
As  he  sows,  so  shall  he  reap,  and  his  har- 
vest will  teach  him  valuable  lessons — wiU 
teach  him  to  sow  tame  oats  instead  of  wild 
ones. 

I  once  had  a  dear  lady  friend  who  would 
have  married  me  if  I  had  advised  her  to. 
I  kept  quiet  and  she  married  another  man. 
Just  think  what  the  other  man  would  have 
missed  if  I  had  put  in  my  advice — ^to  say 
nothing  of  the  trouble  I  have  missed! 

In  solving  our  arithmetic  problems,  we 
gain  mental  culture,  whether  we  get  the 
right  answers  or  not.  It  is  not  our  duty 
to  get  the  right  answer.  It  is  our  duty  to 
try  to  get  the  right  answer;  and  we  are 
as  much  benefited  in  getting  the  wrong 
answer  as  the  right  one.  The  wise  teacher 
encourages  the  pupils  to  try  to  solve  the 


problems  themselves.  If  a  school  boy  had 
all  his  problems  solved  for  him,  he  would 
never  learn  arithmetic. 

And  so  it  is  in  life.  If  we  are  simply 
puppets,  automatons,  acting  at  the  will  of 
another,  we  can  not  grow.  Our  friend  who 
advises  us  may  grow  because  he  thinks  and 
originates  and  tries  to  carry  out  his  plans 
on  us.  But  we  remain  like  a  house  built 
upon  the  sand.  And  when  trials  and  temp- 
tations and  difficulties  come  we  are  not 
able  to  stand. 

Vivekananda  says  the  world  is  a  gymna^ 
sdum.  Our  life  activities,  the  ordinary 
ones  as  well  as  the  extraordinary  ones, 
are  the  exercises  we  take  in  tliis  gynma^ 
slum  to  develop  moral  muscle  and  mental 
sinews.  If  we  would  gain  strength  in  this 
great  gymnasium  we  must  use  its  appa- 
ratus. We  must  engage  in  the  activities  of 
life.  If  we  move  only  at  the  advice  of  our 
friends,  they  will  get  the  development  and 
we  will  get  left.  Making  decisions  as  to 
what  to  do  and  how  to  do  it  is  an  import- 
ant exercise  in  this  gymnasium.  If  we  let 
our  fond  friends  do  that  for  us,  our  char- 
acter muscles  will  wither  away. 

Let  us  roll  up  our  sleeves  and  pitch  in. 
We  axe  sure  to  gain.  We  can't  lose.  We 
may  not  do  as  well  as  Bill  Jones  or  Amanda 
Smith.  But  if  we  let  them  do  for  us,  it 
will  not  do  us  any  good.  Be  yourself  what- 
ever that  self  is.  It  is  better  to  be  a  poor 
somebody  than  a  good  nobody. 


If  your  friend  comes  to  you  and  asks  for 
advice,  give  it  to  him.  When  he  grows 
wiser  he  will  know  better  than  to  ask  for 
advice.  The  scripture  says,  **He  that 
asketh,  receiveth."  But  most  people  re- 
ceive advice  before  they  ask  for  it,  which 
is  contrary  to  the  scripture  plan. 

Let  me  quote  some  more  scripture  to 
you.  I  learned  this  so  long  ago  that  I  have 
forgotten  the  book  and  chapter.  But  I 
think  it  was  in  the  shorter  catechism.  Or 
maybe  in  Noah  Webster's  spelling  book: 

*  'And  it  came  to  pass  that  a  certain  good 
man  went  out  to  walk,  taking  with  him  his 
son  and  his  donkey.  And  as  they  walked 
along  they  met  a  fond  friend,  who  said 
unto  the  good  man,  *Why  do  you  not  let 
the  little  boy  ride  on  the  donkey's  back?' 
And  the  man,  being  good  and  desiring  to 
please  his  fond  friend,  answered,  *So  be 
it.'  And  he  placed  the  lad  on  the  don- 
key's back. 

**Soon  they  met  another  friend  who  said 
unto  the  good  man,  *My  dear  friend,  why 
do  you  walk  and  let  the  boy  ride?  You  are 
old  and  feeble  and  the  lad  could  walk  with 
pleasure.  I  advise  you  to  exchange  places 
with  him.  And  the  man,  being  good  and 
fearing  to  displease  his  fond  friend,  an- 
swered,  *As  thou  sayest.' 

"Again  they  met  another  fond  friend, 
who  was  greatly  surprised  at  the  good 
man's  conduct,  and  said,  *My  dear  friend, 
why  do  you,  a  big  man,  ride  that  little 


donkey?  Instead  of  compelling  the  donkey 
to  carry  you,  you  ought  to  carry  him.' 
And  the  good  man,  wishing  to  please  every- 
body but  himself,  answered  and  said, 
*  Thank  you,  good  friend;  it  shall  be  as  you 
say.*  And  so  the  man  took  the  donkey 
on  his  shoulder  and  moved  on.  But  the 
donkey  was  heavy  and  awkward  to  carry. 
As  they  crossed  the  river  on  the  foot-log, 
the  donkey  kicked  and  squirmed,  the  lad 
attempted  to  help,  but  the  good  man  lost 
his  balance  and  all  three  fell  into  the  river 
and  were  wetted." 

The  medicine  that  cured  your  aunt  Susan 
of  rheumatism  might  not  cure  your  niece, 
so  don't  insist  on  her  taking  it. 

Your  nose  just  fits  your  face,  but  it 
wouldn't  fit  mine. 

Your  religion  is  just  the  thing  for  you, 
but  it  is  not  best  for  everybody;  so  don't 
try  to  convert  everybody  to  it.  Most  other 
people  have  religions  that  just  suit  them. 

The  book  that  did  you  so  much  good 
might  not  do  me  any  good.  We  may  be  in 
different  stages  of  our  development. 

The  brickmason  wants  brick  and  mortar. 
The  carpenter  doesn't. 

Four  classes  of  people  are  especially  mis- 
treated by  having  their  liberties  and  rights 
denied  them:  (1)  patients  in  hospitals, 
(2)  inmates  of  insane  asylums,  (3)  in- 
mates of  jails,  and  (4)  our  dear  loved  ones. 

Many  a  man  is  jailed  in  his  own  loving 
household.    Many  a  woman  is  imprisoned  in 


the  heaxts  of  her  friends.  Many  a  baby  is 
bound  in  swaddling  clothes.  Many  a  child 
tries  to  break  out  of  his  prison  wall  of 
dont's.  Webster  made  a  big  mistake  when 
he  coined  the  word  ** don't."  It  ought  to 
be  taken  out  of  the  dictionary.  It  is  a 
great  hindrance  to  a  child's  normal  devel> 
cpment. 

We  are  so  afraid  our  friends  and  rela- 
tives will  go  wrong  and  bring  discredit  on 
us.  They  might  injure  the  family  reputa- 
tion. 

Reputations  are  like  children's  expen- 
sive clothing — too  costly  for  growing  peo- 
ple to  have,  deputations,  tailor-made  and 
guaranteed  to  fit,  prevent  any  expansion 
until  the  annual  shedding  time  comes.  Bich 
people  can  afford  diamonds  and  dog  par- 
ties and  reputations;  but  poor  folks  should 
be  content  with  moonstones,  children's  par- 
ties and  characters.  Characters  are  very 
good  substitutes  for  reputations. 

I  used  to  have  a  good  reputation  back  in 
Indiana.  But  when  I  came  west  I  left  it 
behind.  It  was  too  much  trouble  to  move 
it  around  and  pay  freight  on  it.  And  if  I 
should  be  so  unfortunate  as  to  acquire  an- 
other gilt-edge  reputation,  I  would  lock  it 
up  in  a  bank  vault  for  safe-keeping  while 
I  went  out  and  had  a  good  time  doing  just 
as  I  pleased. 

Let  us  set  our  friends  free  and  give  them 
a  chance  to  grow.  Behold  the  lilies  of  the 
field!    They  have  no  human  friends  to  ad- 


vise  them  how  to  grow,  nor  to  open  their 
petals  for  them  nor  to  fold  their  petals  at 
night.  Yet  the  bride  in  all  her  beauty  is 
not  arrayed  lika  one  of  these.  And  again, 
behold  the  birds  of  the  air!  They  go 
where  and  when  they  please,  seeking  no  ad- 
vice from  wise  heads.  They  have  no  fond 
friends  to  advise  them  when  and  where  to 
build  their  nests,  nor  what  brand  of  baby 
food  to  feed  their  young;  and  yet,  the 
Heavenly  Father  careth  for  them.  If  He 
so  clothe  the  grass  of  the  field  and  care  for 
the  birds  of  the  air,  will  He  not  much 
more  care  for  your  friends? 

I  do  not  mean  that  we  should  not  associ- 
ate with  people,  nor  take  an  interest  in 
them.  But  let  us  associate  as  comrades,  as 
chums,  as  equals,  and  not  as  rulers  and 
ruled,  not  as  bosses  and  obedients,  not  as 
advisers  and  advisees.  When  we  liberate 
our  much-advised  friends  and  associate 
with  them  as  equals,  then  the  association 
will  be  helpful  to  both  parties. 

I  have  a  friend  who  thinks  a  great  deal 
of  me,  and  when  we  are  together,  which, 
luckily,  is  not  often,  talks  constantly  to 
me,  trying  to  do  me  good.  I  told  Mm  once 
I  didn't  want  him  to  do  me  good;  that  I 
preferred  to  remain  mean.  One  day  after 
he  had  talked  to  me  for  five  hours,  giving 
me  the  value  of  his  experiences,  introducing 
to  me  books  and  papers  that  he  thought 
I  needed  to  read  and  compelling  me  to  walk 
with  him  a  mile  and  a  half  on  his  way  to 


an  appointment,  said,  **I  haven't  time  to 
say  anything  more  to  you.  If  you  have 
anything  to  say  to  me,  say  it  quick. ' '  And 
I  told  him  he  had  better  hurry  along  so  he 
wouldn't  miss  his  appointment.  But  se- 
cretly I  wished  he  would  miss  it  as  a  pun- 
ishment for  his  having  punished  me  five 
hours  with  his  benevolent  tongue.  I  can 
appreciate  Thoreau's  statement,  that  if 
he  knew  a  man  was  coming  to  him  for  the 
express  purpose  of  doing  him  good,  he 
would  flee  from  him  as  from  the  smallpox. 

Let  me  tell  you  a  secret  that  you  ought 
to  know.  Your  fond  friends  are  trying  to 
enslave  you.  Occasionally  one  tries  to  com- 
pell  you  by  physical  force.  Others  try  to 
argue  you  into  their  way.  When  you  meet 
a  stranger  he  is  kind  enough  to  let  you  do 
as  you  please.  But  if  he  becomes  your 
friend,  then  he  wants  to  boss  you.  He  tries 
to  missionize  you  into  doing  as  he  thinks 
you  ought  to  do.  Strangers  are  much 
kinder  to  you.  They  are  willing  for  you 
to  go  to  hell  or  anywhere  else  you  please. 
And  if  you  are  allowed  to  go  where  you 
please,  you  will  get  where  you  ought  to  go. 

It  is  safe,  as  Jesus  said,  to  forgive  your 
enemies,  but  look  out  for  your  friends. 
They  will  rob  you  of  your  liberty  and  initi- 
ative and  make  parrots  or  monkeys  of  you. 
It  is  better  for  us  to  remain  donkeys  with 
definite  characters  of  our  own  than  to  be- 
come monkeys  or  parrots. 


I  knew  a  couple  of  friends  wlio  got  along 
very  nicely  before  they  were  married,  be- 
cause each  one  let  the  other  do  as  he 
pleased.  But  after,  one  tried  to  make  the 
other  obedient,  and  the  other  didn't  want 
to  be  obedient.  It  is  not  good  to  enslave 
nor  to  be  enslaved. 

If  we  want  to  help  our  friends,  let  us 
help  them  in  the  way  they  want  to  be 
helped.  They  know  what  they  want  and 
they  need  what  they  want,  even  if  it  is 
only  to  teach  them  that  they  don't  need  it. 

The  right  step  for  any  one  to  take  is 
the  next  step  from  where  he  is.  We  don't 
know  just  where  any  one  is,  but  ourselves, 
and  therefore  we  are  not  capable  advisers. 
Let  your  friend  make  his  own  decisions  and 
plans.  And  if  you  like  you  may  help  him 
carry  them  out.  But  do  not  try  to  decide 
whether  his  plans  are  right  or  wrong. 
They  are  right  for  him.  We  can  not  judge 
right  and  wrong  for  another. 

Abraham  Lincoln  gave  freedom  to  four 
million  negroes  from  their  slave  owners. 
Who  will  give  us  freedom  from  our  fond 
friends?  Who  will  sign  the  emancipation 
proclamation  that  will  free  twenty  mil- 
lion white  slaves  from  their  advising,  dom- 
ineering friends? 

Lincolns  are  scarce.     So  I  suppose  each 

of  us  will  have  to  free  himself;  and  then 

I     when  we  become  wise  enough  we  will  give 

freedom  to  our  own  slaves.    How  shall  we 

r — 


Inate  iis,  let  us  remember  that  they  mean 
well,  poor  ignorant  souls!  They  remind  me 
if  a  two-ye2.r-old  child  trying  to  help  its 
mamma  carry  a  heavy  market  basket.  They 
do  not  realize  that  they  hinder  more  than 
they  help.  It  seems  a  pity  to  deprive  them 
of  the  pleasure  they  get  out  of  it.  If  we 
take  their  advice,  they  enjoy  the  delusion 
that  they  have  done  us  much  good.  And 
even  if  we  don't  take  it,  we  should  not 
forget  how  pleasant  it  is  for  them  to  tell  us 
later,  *'I  told  you  so.'* 

I  am  not  surprised  that  so  many  people 
should  hold  up  their  hands  and  surrender 
to  their  fond  friends  and  say,  in  actions, 
**I  surrender.  I  haven't  the  backbone  to 
withstand  you.  I  become  nothing  before 
you.  I  will  follow  your  advice  as  long  as 
you  are  around,  and  after  you  are  gone  I 
will  probably  surrender  to  the  next  friend 
who  levels  his  advice  gun  at  me." 

I  would  like  to  insert  here  an  advertise- 
ment of  some  osteopath  who  could  stiffen 
weak  backbones. 

It  is  so  easy  to  take  advise.  It  is  the, 
lazy  man's  relief.  It  relieves  him  of  the 
necessity  of  thinking;  and  it  is  so  hard  to 
think.  Nature,  in  order  to  compel  us  to 
think,  punishes  us  severely  for  not  think- 
ing effectively.  Every  wild  carnivorous 
animal  has  to  wear  its  thinking  cap  night 
and  day  in  order  to  capture  its  food  and  not 
be  captured.  Thus  nature  trains  her  chil- 
dren to  be  smart.     In  civilized  life,  it  is 


so  easy  to  get  a  job  where  we  will  bei  told 
what  and  how  to  do  and  thus  earn  an  easy 
living,  quit  effective  thinking  and  cease 
to  grow. 

We  sometimes  follow  our  friend's  advice 
because  we  don't  want  to  hurt  his  feel- 
ings. But  we,  and  not  our  friends,  have  to 
suffer  the  consequences  of  our  actions.  It 
is  a  law  of  nature  that  we  have  to  suffer 
the  consequences  of  advice  that  we  take. 

Do  what  you  think  is  right  and  not  what 
somebody  else  things  is  right.  You  degrade 
yourself  and  enslave  yourself  in  obeying 
somebody  else.  Maintain  your  freedom. 
And  don't  enslave  any  one  else.  You  in- 
jure yourself  in  holding  any  one  in  slavery, 
to  mind  you.  Who  are  you  that  you  should 
demand  obedience  of  a  human  soul  and 
thus  retard  his  growth? 

There  is  but  one  master,  the  higher  self 
of  each.  Your  ma.ster  is  within  you.  And 
your  friend's  master  is  within  him.  Don'^ 
put  yourself  in  him  to  rule  him;  and  don't 
let  him  put  himself  in  you  to  rule  you. 

May  the  Lord  give  us  enough  courage  to 
live  our  own  lives  and  not  give  a  dum 
what  other  folks  think.  A  school  boy  was 
asked  to  define  a  philosopher,  and  he  said, 
**A  philosopher  is  a  man  that  doesn't  give 
a  dum."  When  we  become  wiser  and  ac- 
quire more  courage  we  will  live  our  own 
lives,  take  our  own  advice  and  not  give  a 
durn  what  our  frier'^s  p.iid  Mrs.  Grundy 
says  about  it. 


I  have  gone  up  one  side  and  down  tlie 
other  of  this  question;  I  have  walked  all 
around  it  and  looked  at  it  from  different 
viewpoints,  and  it  seems  to  me  that  our 
worst  enemies  are  not  the  ones  who  swear 
at  us  and  tell  us  of  our  faults,  but  our 
worst  enemies  are  our  advising  friends. 
Let  us  build  an  impenetrable  wall  about  us 
that  our  friends'  well-meant  advice  can  not 
penetrate.  Let  us  grease  ourselves  with 
advice-proof  oil.  Let  us  be  ourselves  and 
live  our  own  lives,  however  imperfect  ous 
lives  may  be.  All  our  mistakes  will  turn 
out  for  our  good.  Our  misfortunes  will  be 
fortunate  for  us,  and  every  event,  good  or 
bad,  painful  or  pleasant,  will  help  us  for- 
ward in  our  progress  toward  the  goal. 

I  suspect  that  most  of  our  efforts  to  help 
our  friends  get  along  ,and  our  efforts  to 
help  the  Lord  run  this  old  world,  are  about 
as  effective  as  the  help  given  by  a  certain 
good  man  in  the  story  of  *'The  Water 
Wheel.*'  This  story  I  read  in  a  Sunday 
school  paper.  You  may  ask,  **Can  any 
good  come  out  of  a  Sunday  school  paper?" 
This  story  is  an  exception.  It  contained 
four  per  cent  of  the  radium  extract  of 
mind-your-own-business,  salted  to  taste,  but 
heavily  diluted.  I  boiled  it  down  to  one- 
third  the  original  bulk,  canned  it  up,  and 
now  after  fifteen  years  I  open  the  can  and 
give  you  a  taste.  It  is  good  medicine  for 
those  of  us  who  haven't  enough  faith  in 
the  Lord's  aT^ility  to  run  this  world,  and 


who  want  to  lielp  along  by  giving  advice 
and  doing  other  things  unnecessary  and 
possibly  injurious. 

THE   WATER  WHEEL 

Once  upon  a  time  there  lived  a  man  in  an 
inland  prairie  town.  He  was  good,  sympa- 
thetic, loved  everybody  very  much  and  him- 
self a  little.  He  had  lived  there  from  birth 
and  had  never  seen  a  river,  not  even  a 
brook.  He  said  to  himself  one  day,  *  *I  will 
travel  to  give  me  polish  and  education.** 
So  he  took  leave  of  his  people  and  set  forth. 

And  one  day  it  came  about  that  he  saw 
before  him  a  line  of  green  willow  trees 
whose  branches  hung  low  and  dipped  into 
a  river.  The  traveler  was  much  pleased, 
and  as  he  approached  the  stream  he  saw 
a  low,  plain  building  from  which  came 
much  noise  and  clatter.  It  was  a  mill,  still 
running,  but  whose  owner  had  recently 
been  kiUed.  Inside  were  large  wheels  and 
little  wheels,  cog  wheels  and  fly  wheels, 
shafts,  belts  and  pulleys.  There  were  bins 
and  barrels  and  boxes,  but  they  were  aU 
empty.  And  the  grinding  burs  went  round 
and  round,  night  and  day,  but  ground  noth- 
ing. 

The  traveler  had  never  before  seen  a 
mill,  and  he  said,  **I  wonder  why  the 
wheels  go  round!  I  wonder  what  they  are 
doing!*'  And  being  a  shrewd  man,  he  in- 
vestigated and  then  said,  **It  takes  all 
these  wheels  to  turn  that  big  stick  in  the 


middle,  and  I  see  it  goes  out  through  the 
waU/' 

He  looked  out  at  one  of  the  windows  and 
saw  the  river.  He  said,  **This  is  water, 
bless  me!  My,  what  a  lot  of  it!  And  it  is 
all  moving,  too.  This  must  he  a  river.  I 
wonder  what  makes  it  move. '  *  He  saw  the 
large  wheel  that  hung  in  the  water  from 
the  main  shaft,  and  said,  *  'Now  I  see  what 
makes  the  water  move.  The  wheels  inside 
turn  the  big  shaft  and  it  turns  the  wheel  in 
the  water  and  that  makes  the  water  in  the 
river  go.  Yes,  I  understand  it  all  now.  I 
never  knew  before  that  it  took  so  many 
wheels  to  run  a  river.*  > 

Having  now  satisfied  himself  with  this 
new  discovery  of  his  travels,  he  turned  to 
go,  when  a  sudden  idea  came  into  his  head 
as  by  inspiration.  **What  if  this  wonder- 
ful machinery  should  stop  and  the  river 
cease  flowing!  What  a  terrible  thing  that 
would  be,  for  I  have  heard  that  rivers  are 
very  useful  to  mankind.**  Just  then  the 
machinery  did  slacken  because  a  floating 
branch  touched  the  water-wheel.  But  he 
saw  not  the  branch.  He  exclaimed,  *' There! 
I  do  believe  it  is  stopping  now.  How  for- 
tunate that  I  came!  It  was  surely  an  act 
of  Providence  that  I  was  sent  here  at  this 
time  to  keep  the  machinery  going  that  the 
river  might  not  stop.'*  And  immediately 
he  seized  the  large  belt  and  pulled  vigor- 
ously. He  continued  to  pull  and  the  wheels 
continued  to  turn  and  the  river  continued 


to  flow. 

It  was  hard  work  and  he  became  very 
tired.  But  just  before  he  was  completely 
exhausted  some  of  his  friends  entered  the 
door.  They,  too,  had  decided  to  travel  and 
had  followed  the  footsteps  of  our  hero. 
When  the  situation  was  explained  to  them 
and  they  understood  how  important  it  was 
to  keep  the  wheels  going  that  the  river 
might  not  stop,  they  took  hold  in  good  will 
and  by  turns  they  pulled  the  belt,  kept  the 
wheels  going  and  prevented  the  river  from 
stopping. 

The  work  was  kept  up  and  in  the  course 
of  years  it  came  time  for  our  hero  to  die. 
As  the  end  approached  there  stood  about 
him  all  the  friends  who  had  helped  him  in 
his  great  enterprise  of  running  the  river 
and  keeping  up  its  flow.  They  praised  his 
noble  work  and  recited  how  well  he  had  or- 
ganized the  workmen  and  how  effectively 
his  wisdom  and  goodness  had  kept  the  river 
flowing.  His  face  was  very  grave,  but  his 
heart  was  full  of  joy  because  he  had  done 
his  duty. 

And  as  he  lay  there  dying  he  heard  the 
wheels  clattering  and  the  river  murmuring, 
and  he  gazed  about  upon  his  people  and 
said,  **Dear  friends,  the  time  has  come  for 
me  to  go.  .1  die  in  peace  for  my  work  is 
accomplished.  The  river  runs  and  will 
continue  to  run  as  long  as  you  are  faith- 
ful to  your  duty.  Farewell!  My  friends, 
farewell  I*   * 


Am  I  doing  my  part  in  pulling  the  Tjolt, 
and  giving  advice  and  keeping  the  world 
going  as  I  think  it  ought  to  go? 

Are  you? 

Or  have  I  learned  to  let  the  Lord  run  the 
rivers  himself  while  I  hold  my  mouth  shut 
about  my  neighbor's  faults,  and  keep  my 
hands  off  his  doings,  and  let  him  have  the 
experiences  he  needs  to  teach  him  what  he 
ought  to  know? 

If  I  would  keep  my  own  face  clean,  and 
my  own  hair  combed,  and  my  own  mind 
straight,  and  let  my  heathen  neighbors 
alone,  I  suspect  the  Lord  would  have  an 
easier  time  running  the  rest  of  the  world. 

What  do  you  think? 


ANNOUNCEMENT 

As  I  can  find  time  I  shall  print  a  series 
of  booklets  dealing  with  Life  and  Free- 
dom and  Happiness  as  I  have  experienced 
them.    I  am  still  living.    Beally. 

These  are  already  printed: 

"Freedom  Hill,  the  Place  of  Evergreen 
Happiness.'*  Tells  how  to  be  happy  tho' 
miserable. 

** Freedom  From  Fond  Friends."     How 
to  vaccinate  against  them. 


The  others  to  be  printed,  one  every 
month  or  so: 

** Henry's  Glass  Eye  Story.'*  Gives  my 
experience  with  doctors,  healing  friends 
and  enjoying  sickness.'* 

**My  Conceit  Machine.*'  Cures  enlarge- 
ment of  self-esteem. 

** Falling  in  Love  Again  and  Again.** 
Contains  the  germ   of  love  sickness  and 
how  not  to  cure  it. 

**The  Divinity  of  the  Devil.**  Guaran- 
teed to  cure  devilishness. 

**  Usefulness  of  Useless  Husbands.*' 
Cures  grass  widows*  sorrows. 

** Christian  Science  Soothing  Syrup." 
Beats  Mrs.  Winslow's  soothing  syrup. 

**How  to  Take  People  Without  Getting 
Hurt."     Better  than  Sloan's  liniment. 

Price  twenty-five  cents  a  dose.  And  if 
you  don't  find  them  good  medicine  for 
what  ails  you,  send  them  back  and  I  will 
return  your  cents,  accompanied  with  a 
prayer  that  your  eyes  might  be  opened  to 
see  the  beauty  of  ugliness,  the  goodness  of 
meanness,  the  divinity  of  the  devil. 

FREEDOM  HILL  HENRY, 
Burbanlc,  Calif. 


(^<^ 


THE  CHIEF  CRANK 
OF  FREEDOM  HILL 

By  Guy  Bogart 

Utopia  flourishes  on  Freedom  Hill.  Hap- 
piness has  been  found  amid  the  eucalyptus 
groves  and  budding  fruit  trees  planted  and 
cared  fcr  by  the  hand  of  Dr.  Leroy  Henry. 
Spiritual  heights  and  spiritual  flights  are 
tiie  rule  on  Freedom  Hill,  situated  in  the 
iocihills  by  easy  stage  trip  from  Los  An- 
geles. He  has  gone  fr.r  in  the  pathway  of 
lealizaticn  and  his  little  ranch  is  one  of 
txie  important  focusing  points  of  Southern 
California  spiritual  life. 

Dr  Henry  is  an  M.  D.,  with  a  thorough 
understanding  of  massage,  osteopathy,  chi- 
ropractic, psycho-therapy  and  other  lines  of 
mauling,  coaxing  and  wheedling  the  human 
form  divine  into  claiming  a  little  more  of 
its  divinity. 

Each  summer  Dr.  Henry  holds  a  clinic 
at  his  ranch,  exracts  gloom  and  fear  from 
you  free  of  charge,  injects  a  mixture  of 
sunshine  and  optimism  during  the  day,  and 
sends  you  to  bed  to  gaze  up  into  the  twink- 
ling eyes  of  the  night  after  the  sun  dips 
behind  the  mountain  ranges.  Not,  how- 
ever, until  after  all  have  spent  a  few  hours 
arcund  a  blazing  campfire. 

When  letters  pour  into  the  abiding  place 
the  ** Chief  Crank"  too  fast,  he  just 
Tints  a  little  edition  of  ''THE  CRANK, 
an  eccentric  Freedom  Hill  magazine  for 
unusual  people. ' ' 

During  the  mellowing  years  of  usefulness 


Dr.  Henry  has  learned  to  live  Ms  pMlos- 
opliy;  to  extract  Ms  idealism  from  tlie 
clouds  and  make  it  over  into  a  suit  of  over- 
alls to  wear  down  here  on  earth.  And,  "best 
of  all,  being  Hoosier,  he  possesses  the  gift 
of  the  fairy  pen  that  can  translate  thought 
into  literature  as  well  as  into  action. 

Speaking  of  writing — as  the  months  have 
grown  into  years,  there  has  also  grown  a 
pile  of  manuscripts  that  Dr.  Henry  reads 
occasionally  in  Ms  conventions  and  to  se- 
lect groups  who  happen  to  be  fortunate 
enough  to  gather  at  his  feet  occasionally. 
Some  of  these  essays  and  sketches  he  is 
now  issuing  in  a  series  of  two-bit  doses  of 
enlightenment. 

The  first,  "Freedom  Hill,  the  Place  of 
Evergreen  Happiness,*'  gives  directions 
**  how  to  be  happy  though  miserable."  I 
know  that  this  is  one  of  the  finest  and 
most  wholesome  bits  of  pMlosophy  you  will 
find  anywhere.  I  know  Ms  life  and  his 
philosophy  in  general  and  anything  bearing 
the  Freedom  Hill  Henry  imprint  has  my 
endorsement  *' sight  unseen.'* 

Others  are:  "Freedom  From  Fond 
Friends,"  tells  how  to  vaccinate  against 
them. 

"Henry's  Glass  Eye  Story,"  gives  Ms 
experience  with  doctors,  healing  friends, 
and  enjoying  sickness. 

"The  Divimty  of  the  Devil,"  guaran- 
teed to  cure  devilishness.  Will  be  ready 
June  1. 

Among  the  booklets  to  follow  as  he  can 
find  time  to  print  them  are: 

"Usefulness  of  Useless  Husbands," 
wMch  he  claims  will  cure  grass  widows' 


sorrows. 

"My  Conceit  Machine."  Cures  enlarge- 
ment of  self-esteem. 

''Falling  in  Love  Again  and  Again,** 
contains  the  germ  of  love  sickness,  and 
how  not  to  cure  it. 

''Christian  Science  Soothing  Syrup.** 

"A  Crazy  Crank,"  claims  to  be  an 
honest  confession. 

1  have  heard  Comrade  Henry  read  several 
of  these  essays.  They  contain  a  blend  of 
common  sense,  mysticism,  stingless  but  ef- 
fective humor  and  a  good-natured  con- 
structive program  of  reconstruction. 

Done  into  twenty-five  cent  doses  and 
dispensed  from  the  home  laboratories, 
Route  A,  Burbank,  Cal. 

WHAT  THE  READERS  SAY 

These  little  books  are  the  sort  of  mis- 
sionaries I  like  to  send  out,  since  they  have 
caused  me  to  laugh  until  I've  had  to  hunt 
a  *  kerchief  to  get  the  tears  off  my  glasses. 
And  the  joy  is  I  shall  have  the  laugh  all 
over  again  when  Mr.  Shiek  gets  back  and 
I  can  read  them  all  to  him. 

HARRIET  L.  SHIEK. 

Freedom  Hill  **. 

It  is  a  humorous  homiletical  hummer.  I 
shall  keep  my  copy  circulating. 

D.  EDSON  SMITH. 

Needless  to  state  I*ve  enjoyed  reading, 
*' Freedom  Hill.**  It*s  O.  K.,  a  regular 
literary  plum  pudding  and  there  ain't  no 
mental  indigestion  in  it,  by  ginger! 

IDA  DIANA  EKBERG. 


To  every  one  who  has  come  in  the 
house  I  have  read  from  it  and  we  have 
had  a  hearty  laugh.  It  is  certainly  refresh- 
ing. Not  since  Bruce  Calvert's  cheerful 
little  magazine,  "The  Open  Road,"  have 
I  read  anything  so  free  and  refreshing. 
MAHY  BREMERTON  DE  WITT. 

of  **  Glass  Eye  Story  '\ 

Have  just  received  and  read  your  *  'Glass 

Eye  Story."    It  contains  many  good  things 

and  by  its  own  odd  vision  helps  us  to  see 

the  things  in  this  world  that  also  are  oda. 

GEORGE  WHARTON  JAMES. 

Wife  and  I  enjoyed  it  immensely.  The 
allusion  to  the  many  kind  and  solicitous 
friends,  who  are  so  chuck  full  of  informa- 
tion as  to  the  best  remedies,  etc.,  struck 
our  mutual  "funny  bone"  because  it  is 
so  true  to  nature,  and  we  laughed  until 
the  tears  rolled  down  our  cheeks. 

HIRAivI  A.    GRAVES. 

Your  "Glass  Eye  Story"  I  can  measure 
out  praise  to  in  unstinted  terms.  It  is  a 
masterpiece.  Never  have  I  read  anywhere 
sweeter  satire  or  wittier  wisdom.  It  de- 
serves to  be  a  classic,  and,  if  the  race 
once  gets  hold  of  it,  I  do  not  think  will 
ever  be  forgotten.  This  booklet  is  your- 
self from  cover  to  cover,  words,  ideas, 
mannerisms,  everything — utterly  original 
and  only  you  could  have  done  it.  It  is 
born  right  out  of  your  own  experience, 
your  own  heart,  your  own  brain. 

J.  WM.  LLOYD. 


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UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


